Smokin...We have a Pope
Today is the last day of the rest of my vacation. I was just looking through photos of previous trips and realized that my camera is broken. It doesn't really matter because all I've done on my week off is golf and moan. Sometimes I golfed and moaned at the same time. My horoscope today tells me that there is something troubling me that is tough to verbalize, so naturally I'm going to try and put it into words instead.
A young man was cleaning my golf clubs after a round on Wednesday. During the course of our meaningless banter I mentioned I could hear a Smashing Pumpkins song coming from somewhere and I was curious where the sound was emanating. The young man said he was surprised I knew who Smashing Pumpkins was. Naturally, I laughed and killed him with a 5 iron. I took it to mean that I looked too old to hold such "hip" information. That bothers me because 1.The Pumpkins are an old group, and I think they suck. 2. I don't mind getting old but suddenly I am looking old. I was told by a friend that it just may be that I don't look that old, I might just look like a dork. I have a gray beard that I shaved and now I look like an old dork without a beard. Which brings me to the Pope.
Pope Benedict XVI is our brand spanking new pontiff! Taken in the second round draft by Seattle. He is 78, which means he still has records in his collection that play at his age per minute. I heard a newscaster saying he was surprised by the selection because we don't need another old sick Pope. I immediately thought that would be a great name for a band. The Old Sick Popes. My belief is that they have this brand new Vatican motel that is so deluxe the cardinals want to come back again and again to elect Popes. The only way to do that is find eligible candidates who couldn't live longer than a carnival goldfish. Next Pope...Abe Vigoda. Chicago's own Francis Cardinal George Mellencamp Cougar was one of the Cardinals to help vote in the new King of the Catholics, and expressed remorse that the Honeymoon Suite didn't have Spectravision. Maybe next year.
Speaking of the Cubs, if the cardinals can find a really great Pope with only 2 rounds of voting, why can't they convene and elect a new closer for the northsiders?
In retrospect, I shouldn't be so upset that the young man thought I was an old codger. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. He, after all, looked like Shaggy from the Scooby-Doo TV show. His current lot in life was to scrub the crap off of my clubs and carry my bag to the Monte Carlo. I think that if I'd had my wits about me, I would've used a 6 iron.XXXXX
A young man was cleaning my golf clubs after a round on Wednesday. During the course of our meaningless banter I mentioned I could hear a Smashing Pumpkins song coming from somewhere and I was curious where the sound was emanating. The young man said he was surprised I knew who Smashing Pumpkins was. Naturally, I laughed and killed him with a 5 iron. I took it to mean that I looked too old to hold such "hip" information. That bothers me because 1.The Pumpkins are an old group, and I think they suck. 2. I don't mind getting old but suddenly I am looking old. I was told by a friend that it just may be that I don't look that old, I might just look like a dork. I have a gray beard that I shaved and now I look like an old dork without a beard. Which brings me to the Pope.
Pope Benedict XVI is our brand spanking new pontiff! Taken in the second round draft by Seattle. He is 78, which means he still has records in his collection that play at his age per minute. I heard a newscaster saying he was surprised by the selection because we don't need another old sick Pope. I immediately thought that would be a great name for a band. The Old Sick Popes. My belief is that they have this brand new Vatican motel that is so deluxe the cardinals want to come back again and again to elect Popes. The only way to do that is find eligible candidates who couldn't live longer than a carnival goldfish. Next Pope...Abe Vigoda. Chicago's own Francis Cardinal George Mellencamp Cougar was one of the Cardinals to help vote in the new King of the Catholics, and expressed remorse that the Honeymoon Suite didn't have Spectravision. Maybe next year.
Speaking of the Cubs, if the cardinals can find a really great Pope with only 2 rounds of voting, why can't they convene and elect a new closer for the northsiders?
In retrospect, I shouldn't be so upset that the young man thought I was an old codger. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. He, after all, looked like Shaggy from the Scooby-Doo TV show. His current lot in life was to scrub the crap off of my clubs and carry my bag to the Monte Carlo. I think that if I'd had my wits about me, I would've used a 6 iron.XXXXX
2 Comments:
remember dave telling us about that band called the smoking popes? the old sick popes would just want to be the smoking popes...
ohh, you dont look like a dork, but I will say that you do look better with the beard.
Ps. Did he say "zoinks" when you lashed him with your golf club?
By LufaMouse, at 8:21 PM
Well, I was checking out at Drugsbeus and the young man said "that will be $10.50." I said, you mean ten fiddy? He about lost it--it's that LOOK, like you are waaayyyy old!!!
P.S. You'll always be the best lookin' one to me!
By marjo, at 12:33 PM
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