Hard Workin Hoosiers
Recently I discovered that several people have viewed my blog after being linked to it by Google. All I can say is....oops! Some have gone so far as to leave comments. One particular response was disturbing to me because it unleashed the truth of my blogging. Yes, I am trying to find fame by riding on the coattails of Jack Butcher, the winningest high school basketball coach, and driver's training instructor. This one reader referred to me as a "Piss Ant!" I believe the piss ant is the worst of all ants in the world, except for the fire ant which was featured on the season finale of CSI, directed by Quenton Tarantino. I don't like being referred to as a Piss Ant, what's more I am a "Little" Piss Ant! Anyway, he suggested that I come down to southern Indiana and be taught a lesson. I assume he meant a lesson in Basketball or perhaps in driving a car. I am not very good at Basketball since I was a little Piss Ant in High School, and the winningest basketball coach, ever, would not consider me for the team. I could use a lesson in that sport. As far as Car-driving, I can parallel park better than anyone I know, an amazing feat because there were no parallel parking spots in Loogootee, Indiana when I was growing up there.
Another lesson he could teach me is how to kill everyone in the trailer with a borrowed gun. That seems to be what Loogootee is most famous for right now. That of course is a shame, as the Loogootee High School has produced a number of Nobel Peace Prize winners as well as one winner of the Tresslar Award. I know this because they had his name painted on the city water tower for 30 years. Steve Trout. He won that award for playing basketball for LHS after the Catholic high school mysteriously burned to the ground.
When I was a young man there was another sign just outside of town. It was a big sign that said "The Loogootee Lions Club Welcomes you to Loogootee!" At the bottom of that sign was another sign that had a picture of a silhouetted black man running, in a panic, away from a big, golden, setting sun. That sign said "Nigger, don't let the sun set on your head!" Loogootee had a "Sunset Law", meaning black people were welcome to walk from one end of town to the other as long as the sun was up....But come sundown...Watch out! Several black people were herded off into the school parking lot and taught to drive a stick-shift!!! The Horror! Those that managed to escape went on to become NBA professionals. It was a dark period in Loogootee history.
Another man, John from Ireland, Indiana left a very nice note. He was looking for something else when he found me, and was kind enough to let me know that he had read my blog and enjoyed it. Thank you John! He was quick to point out that it was a town in Indiana and NOT in Ireland. John, I like the small town of Ireland better than the country. The rolling hills of Southern Indiana fill my spirit with joy, and the trees and wildlife soothe the beast that lingers within. When I was a child I used to go a place called the Flatrock, a natural rock island that jutted out into the White River (east fork), just below the Hindostan Falls. People would drown there in a dangerous river eddy, on the weekends. My dog Cleo and I would go sit on the bank on Mondays and watch the police divers drag the river with big metal hooks. They would drink beer and laugh until they would snag something and then they would become very somber. Usually the would pull up a log and they would start drinking and laughing again. I would bring a sandwich and a twinkie. Cleo liked twinkies a lot.
I write songs, and one of them, a song called "Frogeye" mentions the Flatrock. I will publish the song lyrics in my next blog. I also mention a guy I knew in the song, that used to steal gasoline from a farmers shed. One night the farmers shed exploded, the door had been wired with TNT. I never saw my friend again after that, and nobody ever knew what happened to him. I guess he learned a valuable lesson from a hard working farmer.
That brings me to the hard workin part. Martin County had one major distinction over most counties back in the 60's. It had the best "welfare" to "cost of living" ratio in the country. What that meant was you could get more for your "food stamp" dollar in Loogootee or Shoals or even Frogeye than anywhere else in the United States. Hooray! I don't know if that is still true, but I do know that thanks to great access to Anhydrous Ammonia, via the hard working farmers there, it is one of the best places to find Crystal Methamphedrine. When I was a kid you could go into the hills and buy "Moonshine". It was just as dangerous as Meth, but you couldn't have sex all night after using it. Another interesting phenomena, was you could drive to Washington, Indiana and buy an ice cream cone for $5.00, and there would be a tab of LSD taped to the bottom of it. I mention that so anyone who Googles Washington, Indiana will be directed to my blog....And I will be famous again. XXXXXI
Another lesson he could teach me is how to kill everyone in the trailer with a borrowed gun. That seems to be what Loogootee is most famous for right now. That of course is a shame, as the Loogootee High School has produced a number of Nobel Peace Prize winners as well as one winner of the Tresslar Award. I know this because they had his name painted on the city water tower for 30 years. Steve Trout. He won that award for playing basketball for LHS after the Catholic high school mysteriously burned to the ground.
When I was a young man there was another sign just outside of town. It was a big sign that said "The Loogootee Lions Club Welcomes you to Loogootee!" At the bottom of that sign was another sign that had a picture of a silhouetted black man running, in a panic, away from a big, golden, setting sun. That sign said "Nigger, don't let the sun set on your head!" Loogootee had a "Sunset Law", meaning black people were welcome to walk from one end of town to the other as long as the sun was up....But come sundown...Watch out! Several black people were herded off into the school parking lot and taught to drive a stick-shift!!! The Horror! Those that managed to escape went on to become NBA professionals. It was a dark period in Loogootee history.
Another man, John from Ireland, Indiana left a very nice note. He was looking for something else when he found me, and was kind enough to let me know that he had read my blog and enjoyed it. Thank you John! He was quick to point out that it was a town in Indiana and NOT in Ireland. John, I like the small town of Ireland better than the country. The rolling hills of Southern Indiana fill my spirit with joy, and the trees and wildlife soothe the beast that lingers within. When I was a child I used to go a place called the Flatrock, a natural rock island that jutted out into the White River (east fork), just below the Hindostan Falls. People would drown there in a dangerous river eddy, on the weekends. My dog Cleo and I would go sit on the bank on Mondays and watch the police divers drag the river with big metal hooks. They would drink beer and laugh until they would snag something and then they would become very somber. Usually the would pull up a log and they would start drinking and laughing again. I would bring a sandwich and a twinkie. Cleo liked twinkies a lot.
I write songs, and one of them, a song called "Frogeye" mentions the Flatrock. I will publish the song lyrics in my next blog. I also mention a guy I knew in the song, that used to steal gasoline from a farmers shed. One night the farmers shed exploded, the door had been wired with TNT. I never saw my friend again after that, and nobody ever knew what happened to him. I guess he learned a valuable lesson from a hard working farmer.
That brings me to the hard workin part. Martin County had one major distinction over most counties back in the 60's. It had the best "welfare" to "cost of living" ratio in the country. What that meant was you could get more for your "food stamp" dollar in Loogootee or Shoals or even Frogeye than anywhere else in the United States. Hooray! I don't know if that is still true, but I do know that thanks to great access to Anhydrous Ammonia, via the hard working farmers there, it is one of the best places to find Crystal Methamphedrine. When I was a kid you could go into the hills and buy "Moonshine". It was just as dangerous as Meth, but you couldn't have sex all night after using it. Another interesting phenomena, was you could drive to Washington, Indiana and buy an ice cream cone for $5.00, and there would be a tab of LSD taped to the bottom of it. I mention that so anyone who Googles Washington, Indiana will be directed to my blog....And I will be famous again. XXXXXI
6 Comments:
Ah, god bless Google abuse!
I'm so jealous of the crazies that visit your blog. I need to start writing about obscure towns and people to rake in the occasional oddball...
By Dave Hoffman, at 9:56 PM
is flatrock the place that we have those pictures of in the den? I like that place, I'de like to go back there again. I only went there once, and the only thing I can remember about it was that I really wanted to go home and take a shower, because sleeping in the cabin had made some thick substance grow on the surface of my scalp. And it was really gross..
I really go wanna go back there though, maybe take some pictures or something. There were alot of Ivy covered abandoned buses that were just dying to get their picture taken.
By LufaMouse, at 7:24 AM
hah. well, i don't know what EVERYONE ELSE thinks, but i enjoy reading your blog. i followed the link from dave's blog a couple months ago and i find that like father like son, you guys are both funny and i enjoy your style of prose.
as far as being a "piss ant"..uh...i dont know what a piss ant is, but i bet they don't put the same humorous twinge into bad news the way you do. keep on truckin', monster trucker. this cowpolk is an avid reader.
By rachel, at 9:55 PM
Thank you Rachel, you rock!
By Joe, at 7:01 PM
Joe, why are you hung like a horse?
By marksme, at 5:20 PM
You sir, aren't too good at blogging. Maybe you should have been an optometrist!
By Anonymous, at 8:03 AM
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