Chapter Nineteen

In the very early 1800's there was a Mandan Chief named Shahaka. He was also known, before 1806 as "Big White" to his people. He had a very good memory for remembering the landscape of the Dakotas and when the explorers Lewis and Clark came waltzing through his neighborhood he was so friendly he gave them 100 pounds of meat. One time Oprah pulled a wagon of meat out onto the stage of her TV show and got the biggest ratings she ever had. Lewis and Clark gave Shahaka an axe. They got more than cholesterol from him however, he also drew them a map that covered vast territories from the Black Hills to his village and a detailed layout of the Yellowstone river. He traveled to Washington D.C. to meet President Jefferson with the L and C expedition, but because of some very nasty Indian politics, couldn't make it back to his own people for two long years. When he returned to his tribe and described the big buildings, lamppost, Atlantic ocean, bridges, and the huge number of all white people, he got a brand new name. They renamed him "Bag of lies."

William Clark, the explorer, was the brother of George Rogers Clark. George founded the city of Louisville, Kentucky and is praised as the man who opened the door to the Northwest Territory. In Indiana he is known as the guy who paid for his own army to battle the British. He made friends with the Indians and the French. He was the Jerry Lewis of Kentucky. A French Fur trader named Francis Vigo managed to sneak secret information to George about the British occupation of Vincennes, Indiana. They held Fort Sackville outside of the city. It was really called "Sackville!" Clark led an army of soldiers, French dudes, and Indians on a raid of Sackville and took it with the precision of the Impossible Missions Force. (The IMF was a team of sneaky covert spies and operatives for the government on a TV show of the 1960's called "Mission Impossible) Clark made the Midwest, from Louisville to Detroit safe from the British. His reward was a "Thanks George, but this bill for your so-called army is ridiculous..We're not going to pay you a cent!" From the U.S. Government. He died penniless. The interesting part is that one night, a few years before he died, he got silly drunk and passed out with his foot in the fireplace of his little ramshackle cabin. He was burned so badly they removed his entire leg. When he visited me, while I was "sitting" in my bathroom, he told me that until he died he could still feel that leg "Kicking British ASS!"

I told my friends about my meeting with George, and they shook their heads up and down knowingly. I told them how Shahaka had drawn me a map of how to get to Vincennes, Indiana from my house. He was a great artist and laid out my trip in tremendous detail. If you have ever used a computer program called "Mapquest" you will know exactly what I'm talking about. They were outwardly amazed. I told them that we had to go there together on the last weekend in July, as per George's instructions, to the George Rogers Clark Memorial. I told them that much truth will be revealed on the Saturday of that weekend. There was no hesitation. Russell said 6 or 7 people could ride comfortably in his SUV. Candace said she could take 4 in her Mercedes. Dave said he needed to get back to New York but he could fly into Terre Haute and drive down. What in the hell is wrong with these people? Shahaka said they would call me a "Sack of Lies" but they were ready to go, no questions asked.

Bob said he had to work at Winn Dixie supermarket returning shopping carts from the parking lot that weekend, but Louis told him he knew his boss and that he would get the day off for him. That caused the most negative response from the group. Silent....but negative.