Chapter Twenty Five

I saw a catfish as big as a cow! There have always been stories and tall tales concerning the size of some fish in the river but I never really believed them. He swam by me without one bit of interest. I think that's how a giant fish would survive long enough to grow so large. Show interest in nothing and never bite on anything with a hook in it.

In the last few weeks I have seen visions of heaven and hell. I was figuring that I had no chance of making it out of the water alive and I was hoping that it was heaven for me. I also wondered what the new fall lineup on Fox TV might be like. Maybe it was because I had unselfishly tried to save a drowning woman and her "baby", but a heaven that I had yet to see opened up before my eyes like the curtain drawing on a fabulously decorated stage. It was a combination of the most pristine vacation beach resort that could ever exist on earth and a city that was built with gold and peace. People were swimming and golfing. People were flying freely, doing loop the loops and laughing gaily. There were people enjoying all the earthly pleasures and some that could only be found in heaven. Knowledge was flowing like water and all questions could be answered if they still mattered. It was heaven for God's sake!

I knew everyone there and they all knew me and loved me. It was like the best bar that ever was.

I walked onto the veranda of a beautiful beach front hotel. The guests were laughing, singing, and dancing. God walked into the presence of his guests. He was tall and slender and wearing a white jacket with yellow pants and yellow shoes, no socks. His face was pleasing but not handsome and he was starting to grow a beard. It was coming in gray and was in contrast to his neatly combed brown hair. His glasses had a slight orange tint to them, he looked very European. As he walked through the dining area people would jump up and hug him or shake his hands. Some men gave him cigars.

"Congratulations!" said a distinguished looking gentleman wearing a Michigan Wolverine t-shirt. "How many does this make for you?" He asked.

"This would be number fifteen."Replied God.

"What are you....Catholic?" Asked the guest.

They both laughed.

I knew what they were talking about. I knew everything. God spotted me and came rushing towards me.

"Marty! So good to finally meet you. I have heard such fantastic things about you." Said God.

"Me? You've heard fantastic things about me? My lord!"I was very excited.

"Yes you Marty! This whole thing with you and the chicken bone, and being caught between life and the afterlife, I can't wait for the movie."He held my shoulders and shook them as he spoke.

"Can you tell me if I'm dead?" I asked sheepishly.

"No Marty, that ridiculous bandage came unraveled, you floated back to the top of the river and you are being resuscitated by a heroic college student that just happened to be sitting near the water as you drifted by." God pulled out a cigar cutter and nipped the end off of a Churchill. Winston Churchill stepped in with a powerful lighter and fired it up for him. As God began to puff Churchill looked at me and smiled.

Franklin Roosevelt stepped up beside him and extended his hand to me. "Nothing to fear Mahhty!"

I started to cough and water began to pour from my lips. I was laying on the muddy river's edge looking up at a threatening sky. A soaking wet woman was pressing on my chest and blowing air into my lungs.

"You're alive!" she screamed.

"Damn it to hell." I replied.