Chapter Forty one

The second night of playing music on the flatbed truck at the BBQ was more fun for me. I felt comfortable enough to take chances when I was playing, and as any good musician will tell you, nothing will happen until you can "Let go."

The original drummer for the 60's rock band the "Who", Keith Moon was playing this night, along with another group of musicians I didn't know. He was wild and manic and very creative, we were having the time of our lives. That is, I was having the time of my life, Keith was just having fun.

The only queer thing to happen was when Jesus escorted John Mellencamp to the stage to give the crowd a thrill. He jumped up on the flatbed and grabbed a microphone. His smile was a mile wide and he waved at the crowd like he knew every single face out there. I had never been a big fan and I was hoping he wasn't going to ask me to play one of HIS tunes, He looked over at me and yelled "R O C K in the USA, Marty...Hit it!"

I looked over at Keith and he just shrugged his shoulders. Looking back at Mellencamp I shook my head to let him know that I'd never heard it.

"Do you know What I Like about You by the Romantics?" I nodded my head in the affirmative. "Just play that, it's the same song!" Keith banged his sticks together for tempo and off we went. I really liked that song. While we were playing I had the idea to make a whole bunch of new songs by just using the music from some of my favorite tunes by other artists. That would be easy and fun and it would attract and instant listenership without having to come up with something original. I really thought I had stumbled on to something when I looked down at the audience and made eye contact with Jesus. He knew what I was thinking. He was shaking his head "NO!" Lesson learned.

It was what happened after the show that changed everything. It was what opened my eyes to the world for good. I had been carrying quite a load. A load of guilt. Stevie Ray Vaughan had told me that I wasn't a womanizer, not yet anyway. Still, everything that had happened to me up to this point was pointing in the opposite direction. Why all the girlfriends and ex wives? Why the "How to pick up chicks" manual from Raymond. Why the lighter from Elizabeth? Was the head wound the only reason I couldn't remember my past and sort out my life?

After the show, Lynette and I went back to her place. I had no need for sleep and neither did she. We started a rambling conversation about our lives. When she spoke of me and my life, she always spoke with a laugh in her voice, as if my life had been a dull and boring joke. She characterized me as a typical accountant, lifeless, focused on numbers and having an tendency towards bad luck. Still she admitted that she had been in love with me and would have slept with me if I ever asked her. She would have married me had I asked. I never picked up on the clues, I could've never imagined such a thing, according to her. When I was married, it was because a woman had overwhelmed me and directed me to marry her. I remained faithful when I was married, in body and mind. My wives had left me because I was dull, boring, and focused on the numbers.

"Do you remember Elizabeth?" I asked

"Are you kidding? Louis' wife? What a crazy biatch!"

"Stop it!"

"Marty, give me a break! She was as nutty as a Snickers bar."

"She loved me, she gave me gifts. I think I killed her."

"What?" Lynette threw her beer bottle across the room and into the face of the TV set. "Don't worry, I do that all the time, it'll be better in the morning."

"Has she been here, have you talked to her?" I had tears streaming down my face as I asked. I expected to see her around every corner since I arrived, even though I don't know how I would recognize her. I couldn't remember what she looked like.

"She's watching FOX-TV in HELL Marty! How do you think you killed her?"

"She loved me so much, she gave me gifts. She gave me a chocolate cake on my birthday and I took it back to her house and threw it on her porch. The cake attracted bees. She was allergic to bees Lynette. They stung her, and killed her." I was sobbing.

"B. U. Double EL SHIT!" Lynette stood up and grabbed my collar. She yanked until I stood face to face with her. "Elizabeth wanted you for herself, her husband's best friend. She knew Louis was a cheating, lying, son of a bitch, and she didn't care. She was a cheatin, lyin, bitch, herself. You weren't the only man she was chasing. She screwed everything that moved. She had more than one abortion."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"When you wouldn't come to her she went off the deep end. Do you know their Dog died that same day?"

"What do you mean?"

"The fucking dog died the same day she did!"

"So what?"

"Marty, do you remember how she loved those murder and mystery novels? Do you remember how she watched those "forensic" murder, reality shows endlessly?"

"No."

"Well she did!"

"So?" I was totally lost at this point.

"She was a troubled woman. She had contemplated suicide for a long, long time. When she couldn't have you, her thoughts turned to murder."

"Murder? Me?" I could feel the tears suck up back into my eyes.

"That cake she brought you was poison. It was something she learned from the TV and followed up on the computer. It was untraceable poison, something called Kurtisnuk. The cake was full of it. One slice of cake and you would've had a massive, lengthy, and painful heart attack. She had covered all of her bases and left no tracks. " Lynette's face was beet red and her voice had gotten higher and softer as she tried to scream.

"I can't believe this!" I pulled away from her. Louis' love would never do such a horrible, despicable thing. These were lies! I wasn't in any kind of heaven. I was in hell. Elizabeth was a saint. Her only crime was falling in love with me. "How do you know these things?"

"I was in love with you Marty, my reward after death was to follow you around. I saw the whole thing happen. I was powerless to save you, and part of me didn't want to save you, part of me wanted you here in heaven with me." Now she backed away.

"How did she die then? Did she kill herself?"

"She let the dog out without noticing that you had left the cake, neatly, not thrown, on the porch. The poor dog gobbled up half of the thing. She let the him back in and just like every dog owner with a mental problem, she let that butt-licking greyhound kiss her on the lips. That dog was already having convulsions when she went into cardiac arrest. She stumbled out the back door and into the angry bees."

"Why did the Doctor call it an allergic reaction?"

"It was that dumbass, Granger!"

"Nuf said." The room went silent. Lynette was still staring a hole into me, the veins in her neck were full of blood. Saliva was on her lips.

My mind began to play pictures like a videotape machine in reverse. I was walking into that stark room in Hell. I was walking past the cold, unseeing faces of the damned to the empty seat that I occupied that one horrible night. For the first time I could see the face of the woman in the chair next to mine.

It was Elizabeth.