Chapter Fifty Two

Ted and I were flying through the night like a meteor, our taillights leaving a red stripe across the moonless landscape. A storm was flashing strobe lightning in the distance. My mind was racing with new memories of my life before the tornado, the pain that I learned to experience, and of Temptation. The news report had said that two people died in the shooting at the diner. I can only guess that it was Mel and Tempation that they were talking about but I didn't want to believe that such a beautiful soul could be lost before I had a chance to find out if she was the woman of my dreams. "Where are you taking me?"

"Marty, I can't believe that in all this time you haven't asked that question. You know, curiosity killed the cat is only an expression that mothers use to shut their kids up when they're irritated. Asking questions is the basis of all existence, otherwise you don't even need to be. Where do you think we would be if Shakespeare never asked "To be or not to be."? Where would we be if Edison never asked if man could simulate the Sun?"

"So where are we going?"

"I remember Columbus standing at the edge of the water wondering what was on the other side. The Wright Brothers trying to figure out why man couldn't fly. Les Paul just didn't want his guitar to be louder, he went right ahead and invented an electrified guitar. They all asked questions of their friends and scholars, they sought the truth to find a meaning in their individual quests. If you are just going to sit there and let things happen to you, then you might as well be watching TV for the rest of eternity. Fox TV."

"Do I know where we're going, is the answer inside of me?"

"There was a man who asked the question..."What if my razor had 3 blades, instead of just the two, and vibrated...would I be able to create a closer shave?" Just so you know, that is a stupid question. That's not the question that intelligent fuckers ask themselves. That is what they call a gimmick, the only goal is to make money. Not that there's anything wrong with making money, mind you. Thomas Edison and his heirs made a fortune from the lightbulb. Look at the dashboard. It's full of little tiny lightbulbs. We couldn't see to drive if it wasn't for Edison. We would have to stop for the night and watch TV in some crummy motel. "

"Could there be television if there was no lightbulb?"

"That's a stupid question Marty. Of course not, that was a joke on my part. You wouldn't have TV's, computers, radios, stereos, or the electronic pet on a keychain if it wasn't for Thomas Edison. By the way, that's another expression that's full of shit. "There are no stupid questions, just stupid people" that is not true. There is a whole buttload of stupid questions out there being asked as we speak. Stupid questions slow down the progress of mankind more than anything else. "

"I just felt like the question needed to be asked."

"What if I fell from the sky? What if the lightbulb doesn't work? What if we sail off the end of the world? What if I regretted my decisions?"

"That's kind of harsh Ted."

"What if this delicious looking Steak was filled with poison? Is it better to starve to death rather than die from what you eat?"

"That's very Zen."

"Thanks, I've been reading a book on Zen Golf."

"You golf?"

"Not well. That's one bitch of a game. How about that Tiger Woods? There is a guy that really knows how to focus and play golf. I swear if I could focus just half as much as that dude I would be on the tour."

"I can't imagine you wearing the shoes."

"Got a trunk full of them. Footjoys mostly. That's a good shoe!"

"I like them too."

"I just can't put my game together. I either hit the ball well and putt like a retard or vice versa. I can't seem to get out of the 80's. Just one putt here, just one muscle twitch there and I'm shooting in the low 70's. Did you watch the Masters this year? What a course! It is so beautiful. Bobby Jones built that after he quit playing tournaments. You know he never became a professional golfer. He beat the best players of his day, he won the Grand Slam of golf, by God he coined the phrase Grand Slam of golf, and he never made one cent from it. That was kind of stupid on his part if you ask me. It wasn't like he needed the money. He was a Golfer, a Lawyer, he served in the war. "

"Where are we going?"

"Louisville."

"Why?"

"All hell is about to break loose there Marty and you have to be there."

"Why?"

"Why what?"

I was scratching my pants."Why would I want to be in the middle of all hell breaking loose?"

"Because it wouldn't break loose if you're not there." Ted laughed knowingly.

"So if we don't go there nothing will happen."

"That's right." Ted seemed to baiting me to ask.

"So why do we go there?"

"To be, or not to be. That is the stupid question." Ted cranked up the organ music as we broke through the "Bridge Out" sign.