Chapter Seventy Two
Let me make one thing perfectly clear. I never did believe God was really talking with me on the computer. Well, maybe a little bit, but not completely. I have since spoken face to face with the creator of the universe and he assured me that he has never touched a computer. As a matter of fact he hates them. He says they are the work of the Devil. They are the tools of Red Skelton.
The person I was talking to was actually Thomas O'Brien from Novi Michigan, an unemployed graphic designer.
Sometime during the course of his life, Thomas accidentally discovered a way to speak to the dead using a modified Dell home computer. It had something to do when his Bichon Frise pet dog peed on his CPU as he was modifying his home network. He had thought about telling the world of his discovery and expanding the knowledge base of all of mankind, but changed his mind when he realized he could start screwing with the minds of dead people. He was just like most computer hackers that like to invent viruses and steal peoples personal information. Thomas O'Brien was a prick.
By the way...the name of the town "Novi" comes from the fact that it's exit number 6 on the Grand River toll road. No. VI. At least that's what most people believe. Actually, according to God, the toll road had not even been built when the town was named. Some say that it was the number 6 stop for the railroad, but the 5 stops before it didn't exist until several years after the town came into being.
According to God the town was originally named 666. It was the portal to eternal damnation. It was the veranda to evil. It was just outside of Detroit.
Thomas O'Brien is no longer alive. He died not many days after our computer conversation. A woman he had made acquaintance with in an internet chat room arranged to meet him at the Wilderness Lodge in the Wisconsin Dells. After a lovely day of wandering the amusement parks and bathing in the giant indoor swimming pool, she murdered him, cut him into steaks and cooked him on the grills provided by the hotel.
His mother still cares for his dog.
The person I was talking to was actually Thomas O'Brien from Novi Michigan, an unemployed graphic designer.
Sometime during the course of his life, Thomas accidentally discovered a way to speak to the dead using a modified Dell home computer. It had something to do when his Bichon Frise pet dog peed on his CPU as he was modifying his home network. He had thought about telling the world of his discovery and expanding the knowledge base of all of mankind, but changed his mind when he realized he could start screwing with the minds of dead people. He was just like most computer hackers that like to invent viruses and steal peoples personal information. Thomas O'Brien was a prick.
By the way...the name of the town "Novi" comes from the fact that it's exit number 6 on the Grand River toll road. No. VI. At least that's what most people believe. Actually, according to God, the toll road had not even been built when the town was named. Some say that it was the number 6 stop for the railroad, but the 5 stops before it didn't exist until several years after the town came into being.
According to God the town was originally named 666. It was the portal to eternal damnation. It was the veranda to evil. It was just outside of Detroit.
Thomas O'Brien is no longer alive. He died not many days after our computer conversation. A woman he had made acquaintance with in an internet chat room arranged to meet him at the Wilderness Lodge in the Wisconsin Dells. After a lovely day of wandering the amusement parks and bathing in the giant indoor swimming pool, she murdered him, cut him into steaks and cooked him on the grills provided by the hotel.
His mother still cares for his dog.
posted by Joe at
7:10 PM
9 Comments:
Who wrote this? Is this a free writing assignment at Cary-Grove H.S.? Allen Lee, is this you? You sly dog, you. If the millitary thing doesn't workout for you, I know some people in the TV business...
By
Skokie Shakes, at 2:02 PM
My favorite chapter thus far.
By
Clay, at 12:03 PM
I think I missed something....or maybe I just crossed through the portal to eternal damnation.
By
anne elk, at 6:59 PM
Is this how the story ends? What is this? The Sopranos?
By
Clay, at 11:15 AM
There's still more to come. BRB
By
Joe, at 9:24 AM
boy....he's sure been gone a long time....
By
anne elk, at 7:33 PM
I didn't know this story went on summer hiatus.
By
anne elk, at 4:43 PM
Think of it as a realignment period for a sitcom. Remember when John Ritter died in the middle of "Eight simple rules" ? The show really sucked, but they carried on anyway with better writing and better actors but then it was canceled because John Ritter wasn't on it anymore. Or like when that horrible actress that played Becky on "Roseanne" was replaced by the more talented Sarah Chalke only to be replaced a season later by the old Becky because of some stupid reason I can't seem to grasp. Or when Sonny and Cher went back on the air calling each other assholes but they were divorced with a young gay child. Like that. I'll be back soon, I had to catch my breath. I was on track to end the story but now realize there's a long way to go. I have to get motivated for the task.
By
Joe, at 5:56 PM
Your Mom told me it's been a rough road for you lately. Hang tough and I know the motivation will hit you again soon
By
Anonymous, at 8:44 AM
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